During her childhood, Esha Gupta was often called ‘Kali maa’ not because she was powerful like the Goddess but because she has a dark complexion. At that age, she never understood the name-calling and did not pay heed to it. However, the actor was shocked to have faced it again when she entered Bollywood with people taking it a step further and suggesting she go for skin whitening procedures.
“When I became an actor, and my first film came, I remember when I used to go to meetings or auditions, people used to say, ‘Oh, you should do your colour light or take those injections, which cost a lot of money’,” reveals Gupta, adding, “Because a lot of actresses have done that and changed the colour... but I never understood that concept”.
For her, the decision to alter anything about one’s personality or body should come from within, and not due to outside pressure.
“I am okay with someone changing his/her nose. I am okay if they get it changed because they don’t like it. But I am okay with my body and features. There were also moments when some people told me, ‘You will never get that girl next door or cute role’. I am fine with it. I don’t even want it, but don’t say that it is because of my colour,” says Gupta, who made her Bollywood debut with Jannat 2 in 2012.
At one point, she was advised to go under the knife to get her nose changed. “Someone even told me that I should change my nose because my nose is not sharp like other actresses. My nose is small and round. Initially, it affected me mentally.”
It was hard for the Rustom (2016) and Nakaab actor to escape such judgements, and she is glad that she didn’t let her confidence waver. She recalls, “I had to go for a surgery because I have deviated septum and have problem breathing, but I never did it because I was so scared that my nose’ shape might change”.
Looking back at her years growing up in India as a dusky girl, Gupta confesses, “When I was a kid, I wasn’t as dark as how much I do today. As a toddler, I took some wrong pills, following which I was hospitalised and had to get a blood transfusion. After that I became very weak and dark”.
She recalls how some distant relatives used to pass snide remarks, as she puts, “They were always telling my mom that ek aur ladki ho gayi, aur woh bhi dark hai, We feel so sorry for you’”.
“I remember one of my aunts used to call me ke Kaali Maa, and I used to get upset about it. My maasi used to question her, and say, ‘She is a goddess, so I don’t know what you are trying to say’. So, I have always been very conscious about how I look when I was a kid”.
Now, she is confident about her looks as well as her skin colour, and credits time spent as a model behind it. “When I started modelling, everyone just loved my colour. Because the people in fashion are much more advanced,” she shares, adding that her time on foreign shores also helped her realise it.
“It was only during the pandemic that I started working abroad because I was in Spain for a long time. When I used to venture out, everyone would compliment my skin tone, and ask me how I got it, which I realised that it is my Indian skin tone, and that people do love it,” the actor says while wrapping up.
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